Operation: Enrage Snape
by NoShoesNoShirtNoSheldon
Summary: Used to be called Ways To Make Snape Mad. Harry has had enough of Snape pushing him around. So what does he do? He makes a list of ways to get on Snape's nerves. And what does he do with it? Why, he tries it out, of course! Credit to ridickulus101. DISCONTINUED.
1. Prologue

**Full credit goes to ****ridickulus101. Her story is ****10 Ways to get Snape mad!**

**So, check it out!**

**XoXoXoX**

Harry gritted his teeth as he threw his bag on the ground. He couldn't believe it! He'd just killed off Voldemort, been in the Hospital Wing for over a week, and Snape still wanted his Potions Homework? He'd even gone as far to deduct points and give Harry a weeks worth of detention!

'You've had the whole week in the Hospital Wing to do it,' Snape had said with a frosty glare.

'But, Professor! I was _unconscious _for the whole week!' Harry had exclaimed.

'That's not my fault, now is it?' Snape had smirked.

Harry pulled out two essays he was supposed to complete for Snape from his bag, and then pulled out a potions text. He didn't want to give Snape the pleasure knowing that Harry had indeed done what he had ordered like some house elf, but it was better than losing even more points and getting even more detentions.

It was late into the night when Harry finished. He'd only stopped to snag some dinner before hurrying up to his dormitory and resuming his work. He shifted all the work aside and placed them carefully in his bag. He still had a spare piece of parchment and his quill and ink, because he wasn't tired. He sat on his bed and tapped is chin with the feather of his quill, thinking.

'What shall I write?' He murmured to himself, glancing around the room. His gaze fell on his finished potions homework and he felt the same rage from before bubbling up. 'He sure knows how to make me angry…' Harry muttered. He paused, his eyes widening, then he jumped up, a grin on his face.

'That's it!' He yelled. He sat back down again, worried that he'd woken his dorm mates, and started writing on the parchment.

_**Ways to make Snape mad**_

_**Written and tested by Harry Potter. **_

Harry grinned. He could think of ten, right off the top of his head. He quickly scribbled them down and admired his work. He drew a little bow beside each one, deciding that he would put a tick in it when he had tried out the way it was beside.

'Perfect,' he muttered to himself. He shoved it under his pillow, then put away his quill and ink. He climbed back into bed and tiredly whispered, 'Nox.'

Darkness engulfed him.

**XoXoXoX**

**Very short prologue. Next chapter will be Harry trying the first on his list out. **

**Snape's going to have a veeeery bad life from now on. **


	2. Test One

**Here we are again. **

**This one on the list is: ****1.) Switch his potion ingredients around on his Oh! So! alphabetically ordered potion store room shelves.**

**XoXoXoX**

**Test1: Part A:**

Harry fingered the piece of parchment in his pocket even as he stepped inside the Potions Store room. This one was free to the kids- they didn't need a reason to come in here and they could take whatever they wanted. Harry decided to start on this one first, before sneaking into Snape's personal stores. Harry recalled what Hermione and Ron had said.

'Oh, Harry, you shouldn't!' Hermione had gasped, her eyes dull with disappointment.

'Good on ya, mate!' Ron had grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. 'Remember, if you need help with anything, I'm here.'

Snape had, of course, ordered them all alphabetically. Harry knew this from having to re-order them all for detention. Snape had done this only this morning, so they were all in perfect order.

'Remember our plan?' Harry whispered to the red-head standing by the door.

'Yep,' Ron replied. 'Just call out "Oh my God, Professor, behind you!" if I see any teachers coming. Then you quickly hide under the Invisibility Cloak and get out of there.'

Harry nodded, smirking. He looked around the store room, trying to decide where to start. Eventually he pulled out something in the 'A' aisle and something in the 'N' aisle. He switched them, then moved on. He spent nearly half an hour re-ordering them all, and by the time he was finished, the whole store room was in a confusing mix. He leaned back to admire his work.

'Oh my God, Professor, behind you!' Ron shouted suddenly.

Quickly, Harry pulled his Invisibility Cloak from his back and threw it over him. He hurried out of the Store Room, brushing past Ron as he went, letting the boy know Harry was out. He glanced around, seeing no professors, and no students either. Harry threw the cloak off and glared at Ron.

'There are no teachers around!' He exclaimed angrily.

'Sorry, mate,' Ron grinned. 'But you were taking to long.'

Harry rolled his eyes. 'Right, well, lets get out of here before someone sees us.'

**XoXoXoX**

**Test1: Part A: Results:**

Severus frowned as he leaned back in his chair, eyeing the student in front of him warily. The Slytherin only raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to speak.

'Completely mixed up, you say?'

'Completely. Nothing was in its right place,' the student nodded. Severus frowned, standing from his chair.

'Thank you, Adder, you may go now. 50 points to Slytherin.'

The student rushed off, a large grin on his face. Severus waited a moment, then swept out of his office, stalking down the hall and coming to a stop at the Potions Store Room. He hesitated, wondering if he _really _wanted to see what kind of destruction was in there. But he gripped the doorknob, turned and pushed the door open.

There was a lengthy pause.

'For Merlin's sake, I ordered this just this morning!'

**XoXoXoX**

**Test1: Part Ba:**

Harry tapped his foot impatiently, watching Ron with frustrated eyes. He took a deep breath, lifted the glass he was holding and downed the golden liquid in a fluid motion. There was a moment where Harry and Ron just stared at each other, both ignoring the fact that they were in a _girl's _bathroom. Suddenly, Ron's hair started turning black.

'About time,' Harry muttered, turning away to give Ron some privacy. Once Ron had finished, Harry turned back and handed Ron his glasses.

'Ugh, I hate Polyjuice,' Ron scowled, shoving the glasses on. 'And this is going to suck.'

'You're telling me. Let's go,' Harry took a look at Ron, who now looked exactly like him, and held the door of the bathroom open. Ron walked past him and Harry, pulling on the Invisibility Cloak, followed him.

'Where do you think Snape is?' Ron muttered out of the corner of his mouth as they walked through the corridors.

'He'll be teaching a first year Gryffindor and Slytherin class,' Harry supplied, looking at the makeshift schedule he had drafted up, showing him exactly where Snape would be. 'He's way too predictable. Does the same thing every week.'

'You spied on him?' Ron sniggered. 'What kind of dirty secrets does he have?'

'None that we don't know,' Harry sighed. 'Other people have already exploited his secrets.'

'Damn,' Ron said softly as they went down the stairs, towards the dungeons.

'So, you know the plan?' Harry checked.

'Yes,' Ron sighed. 'I know the plan. You've asked me that, like, twenty times already.'

'Good,' Harry nodded as they stepped towards the Potions classroom door. 'I know we shouldn't have skived off Divination, but it will be worth it.'

'Are you kidding? I'd rather this than listen to that old phony talk!'

Harry glanced at Ron, smirked and then looked back at the closed classroom door. 'Okay, on three.'

Ron tightened his jaw, glaring determinedly at the doors.

'One.'

He reached up and took hold of the doorknobs.

'Two.'

He slowly turned them.

'Three!'

Ron threw open the doors and charged into the classroom.

'I object!' He yelled, stalking through the rows of children, towards where Snape was standing, frozen. 'I object, you monstrous creature! You hideous, deceitful-'

Ron stopped, staring up at the blazing eyes of an enraged Snape. The man was looking quite deranged, and he was trembling with suppressed anger.

'You fool,' he hissed. 'What in the name of Merlin do you think you are doing, Mr. Potter?'

'I…' Ron hesitated. 'Uhm, wrong classroom?'

'That's it!' Snape roared. '200 points from Gryffindor, and a months worth of detention, starting tonight!'

Harry grinned, watching with amused eyes. Everything was going perfectly.

**XoXoXoX**

**Test1: Part Bb: **

Harry crept along the deserted dungeons, looking around for any danger. So far, he was completely alone and concealed under the Invisibility Cloak. He was careful not to make any noise as he made his way to Snape's privet stores.

He arrived, glancing around and pulling of the cloak. He pulled a piece of parchment from his pocket and read the password from it. As the patch of normal stone slid open, giving Harry entrance, the Boy-Who-Lived grinned, thankful he had watched Snape's every move. He'd spied long enough to gather plenty of personal information- including passwords.

He walked inside, watching as the stone slid closed. Turning back, he looked at the impressive amount of Potions supplies. If the supplies were in the right place, Harry would easily be able to find anything he wanted, even when he had never been there before. He walked past the shelves, pulling out some powdered moonstone and pulling out a jar of Red Horns. He switched them, and then moved on.

He knew Ron would be absolutely seething when he got back. Detention with Snape was never a happy picnic. But Harry needed Snape away from his personal stores, and the added bonus was that because Ron was taking regular drinks of the Polyjuice, he still looked like Harry. Snape would never be able to blame it all on him when he himself had been (supposedly) with him the whole night.

He would also get Hermione to vouch for Ron, so that Snape wouldn't be able to blame it on Ron either. And anyway, Ron would only have to do this one detention. Starting from tomorrow night, Harry would take over and do the rest of them.

A few hours later (Snape really did have huge personal stores); Harry had mixed a good deal of them up. He leaned back and admired his work. No way could Snape stay calm when he discovered what had happened.

Harry went to the door and slipped out, pulling the cloak back over him.

**XoXoXoX**

**Test1: Part Ba:** **Results:**

Harry Potter was lounging in the Great Hall, having eaten all his breakfast, when Severus Snape had barged in. Harry elbowed Ron, and they both turned, grinning, towards the older man and he stalked up through the students.

'Albus!' Severus roared. 'This has gone far enough!'

The Headmaster surveyed him with disapproving eyes, his chin propped up on his hands. He waited until Severus had approached him before speaking softly. Every kid craned their necks to watch, but they could easily hear the conversation.

'What has gone far enough, Severus?'

'Your foolish, childish and completely idiotic antics!' Severus snarled in reply.

'I beg your pardon?' Albus asked politely, blinking in surprise.

'Only you and I know the password to my personal stores!' The Potions Master was red in the face, his eyes icy. 'And yet, they've been mixed up, just like the children's stores!'

'I'm sorry, Severus, but I'm afraid I didn't do it,' Albus shook his head. 'Perhaps someone else?' His gaze lingered on Harry, and the boy had t fight the urge to groan. Why did everyone immediately think he was responsible? Well, he actually was, but still…

Severus followed his gaze. 'Weasley!' he barked. 'It was you, wasn't it?! Potter got detention to keep me away while _you_ raided my stores!'

'Professor!' Hermione exclaimed. 'Ron was with me all night! We were studying for our NEWTs! And besides, how would he know the password?'

Severus batted away the question and narrowed his eyes. 'Studying? I severely doubt Weasley was _studying_. Your NEWTs exams are months away.'

Ignoring the fact that they were having an argument in the middle of breakfast in the Great Hall, with every single student watching them, Ron pointed an accusing finger at Hermione and yelled, 'She forced me to!'

Harry let his head fall against the table, his laughter shaking his whole body.

'Severus, I do not think it was Ron Weasley,' Albus said. 'Perhaps we should search elsewhere?'

They'd gotten away with it! Harry could barely believe it. As soon as he, Ron and Hermione got out of the Great Hall, the dissolved into laughter and gave each other high-fives.

'I knew you'd come around,' Ron grinned at Hermione. She blushed and smiled back.

'Yes, well… It was funny.' She explained. But they all knew it was only because she was pissed off at Severus for grading her potion an 'A' when it was the best in the class. But really tipped her off, however, was the fact that Draco Malfoy got an 'O' when his potion had the wrong coloured steam rising from it.

'It was worth it,' Harry agreed.

'What's next?' Hermione grinned, and they all watched as Harry pulled his list from his pocket.

'Well…'

**XoXoXoX**

**Merry Christmas!** **I hope you all like this chapter. Please review, and have a happy New Year! (Woot, my birthday is on New Years Day!) **


	3. Test Two

**Sorry for the long awaited update, but Fire And Ice is my main priority when it comes to writing at the moment. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!**

**This one on the list is: ****2.) Dye his robes a hot pink colour.**

**XoXoXoX**

_Previously…_

'_It was worth it,' Harry agreed. _

'_What's next?' Hermione grinned, and they all watched as Harry pulled his list from his pocket. _

'_Well…'_

**Test2:**** Part A:**

'This one should be fairly easy,' Harry admitted. 'A lot easier than that was, anyway.'

'Whatever,' Ron said. 'What is it?'

'Dye his robes hot pink, and make it so he can't change it back, nor take it off without the right spell.'

'Wow, Harry. That _is _incredibly easy,' Hermione snorted, looking thoroughly disappointed and put out. 'That's a second year spell, and everyone knows it. Except… You don't get to choose the colour. It's naturally a grimy yellow colour.'

'Well, you _are_ the smartest witch in our year,' Harry told her, and she flushed with pleasure. 'So you should be able to change it, right? Tweak it just a little?'

'I… Oh, I suppose,' Hermione admitted. Harry grinned and Ron gave a small holler. They high-fived each other even as Hermione tugged them along.

'Come on, let's get to the library. I want to know exactly what I'm doing before I change the spell…' she muttered. 'It's only a small spell, but changing even a tiny part of it could be disastrous. And anyway, we'd better pull this prank sooner rather then later. Snape's reaction would be more… Explosive if we did it just after his precious stores were mixed up.'

'Come on, Hermione, we should be celebrating,' Ron whined, trying to free himself form her iron-like grip. 'I mean, if you want to _read_ when we could be having fun, go ahead, but me on the other hand…'

He was silenced by the jab in his side from Harry and the glare coming from Hermione. They made their way to the library in relative silence, Hermione still mad at what Ron had said, Ron scared that Hermione was mad at him and Harry contemplating the success of their first prank.

The library was empty, except for a few fifth year Ravenclaws studying. It was Saturday, so naturally the rest of the kids were all lapping up the recent good weather. Hermione led them to a small table and in less than a minute she had all the appropriate books they needed to look at in front of them.

'Bloody hell, Hermione!' Ron swore, picking up the first book in the pile. 'Do you _live _in here or something? How the hell did you find them so fast?'

'It's quite easy,' Hermione frowned. 'I just remembered the various authors who had written a book including second year spells, and then I went to the section that their books were in.'

'Madame Pince has the books in order so we purposely can't find a book,' Harry interjected.

'Honestly,' Hermione scoffed. 'You believe that rumour? Of course not. They are simply ordered in date of births. Authors born in 1869 would be in this section…' she waved at a random spot behind them. 'It's really easy.'

'Hermione,' Ron sighed. 'Unlike you, we don't actually know when these authors were born. I doubt anyone other than you, and maybe a few seventh year Ravenclaws would be able to do what you just did.'

'Therefore, Pince really does order them to confuse us!' Harry finished. 'Or, at least, everyone except you.'

'And a few Ravenclaws,' Ron added.

Blushing slightly, Hermione sat down, pulling a book from the pile. 'Oh, shush, Madame Pince might hear you.'

And with that said, they read.

**XoXoXoX**

**Test2: Part B:**

Harry glanced round at all of the gathered people. Hermione, Ron, Fred and George were all sitting down, watching him with eager faces. The twins were no longer Hogwarts students, but when Harry told them they were needed for a prank, they jumped at the chance to relive their glory days. Taking a breath, Harry started to talk.

'Okay, Hermione. You've made sure that this Divination class is going to be with Firenze?'

'Yes, Harry, I did,' Hermione sighed.

'Ron, you've got the Polyjuice Potion?'

'Right here,' Ron held up a goblet of golden liquid.

'George, you're back-up. You know the plan, in case he suspects?'

'Sure do, Captain,' George joked.

'Fred, you take the Polyjuice,' Harry pulled a small vial from his pocket. 'This is the back up. We don't want you turning back anytime soon. Put it in your pocket. And here are the identical glasses, so both of us can actually see what we're doing…'

When Fred had taken the vial, ready to put it in his pocket, put on the identical glasses and assured Harry that he knew the plan full well, Harry gave a small sigh. His stomach was doing flip-flops and his breathing was erratic. He was suddenly wishing that he hadn't had breakfast, because he was certain that he could feel it rising up his throat.

'Okay… Divination, and in Hermione's case, Ancient Runes starts in ten minutes… Fred, take the Polyjuice now, and then you and Ron get to class. Hermione, Ancient Runes is closer, so you stay for five more minutes. George, Snape should be in or near the Potions Classroom, waiting for the next class. You know the plan?'

'_Yes_, Harry, I know the plan!' George sighed as he watched his brother slowly turning into Harry. Fred hurriedly shoved the small back up vial of Polyjuice in his robes and, grabbing Ron's arm, they strode out of the Room of Requirements at a fast pace. George waited a few seconds, before running out of the room.

Harry turned to Hermione and gave a weak smile. 'Nervous?' he asked her.

'Less so than you, I'm afraid,' Hermione smiled. 'Now, the spell?'

'Verto suus robes pink, and the wand movement is a swirl, and then a jab.'

'Good,' Hermione glanced at her watch. 'I've got to go. Good luck, and let me know how it goes!'

Waving, Hermione left him and started off to Ancient Runes.

**XoXoXoX**

**Test2: Part C: George:**

George knew his part in the prank wasn't that big, but was essential if Snape started to suspect anything. Therefore, he sprinted all the way from the seventh floor to the Dungeons, taking all the shortcuts he knew and making sure to let a lot of students and a few teachers see him. By the time he reached the outside of the Potions classroom, he was panting heavily and had the stitch in both sides. He took a moment or two to catch his breath before opening the door to the classroom.

Snape was sitting at his desk, grading papers, and did not look up when George opened the door. There was a pause, and then George stamped his foot, the sound echoing around the dark room.

'Really, Minerva,' Snape sighed, still not looking up. 'You could at least start talking. You're wasting my time.'

'Hello, Professor!' George chirped.

Snape's head snapped up so fast that it was a blur, and it left the Weasley twin feeling dazed. He stared at the older wizard with a goofy smile.

'Weasley,' Snape spat. 'I thought we got rid of you years ago! I suppose you're idiotic mirror image is wandering around the castle as well?'

'Oh, of course, sir. Or should I call you Severus? I mean, that is your name, and you're no longer my professor, so-'

'You will not, I repeat, will not _ever _call me by my given name!' Snape snarled.

'Be that as it may, Mr. Snape, you should call me George. I don't mind, re-'

'I will not, I repeat, will not _ever_ call you by your given name!'

'…Déjà vu. Majorly.'

'What the hell do you want, Weasley?' Snape muttered. 'I have a class in less than five minutes, and I don't want you anywhere near my classroom in that time.'

'Aww, really? I'm sure Fred and I could liven it up a bit-'

'You will not, I repeat, will not even _come near_ my classroom while the students are stirring toxic liquid and handling deadly ingredients!'

George snorted. 'You've really got to stop saying that. It's getting repetitive.'

'Weasley, get the hell out of my classroom!'

'Okay, okay,' George put up his hands. 'I'll scram, Mr. Snape. I can tell when I'm not wanted.' There was a lengthy pause, and then George let a grin break out on his face. 'I'll see you later, _Severus_.'

And he was gone in a flash of black robes.

**XoXoXoX**

**Test2: Part C: Ron and Fred:**

When Ron and Fred entered the Divination classroom, they were already a few minutes later. Everyone turned to stare at them, and Fred gave a huge grin.

'Sorry, professor!' he called, his voice so loud that any student who hadn't noticed him arrive sure as hell did now. 'Ron and I got into a bit of trouble with Peeves!'

'Take a seat Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley,' Firenze sighed. 'And take out your assigned books, please.'

When they had done so, Firenze turned back to Lavender.

'Now, tell me what Mars stands for?'

'Oh, that's easy!' Fred gave a laugh. 'It stands for the coming of a battle of sorts. Y'Know, like, you might have a fight with your girlfriend or something… I learnt this years ago!'

Firenze turned back to them and if he was mad or frustrated, he didn't show it. 'If you would, Mr. Potter, how did you learn this years ago?'

'Uh…'

'Uhm,' Ron interjected. 'Hermione. She, uh, thought we were getting behind on Divination and we got accidentally studied the seventh year books. So, yeah…'

'Hmm…' Firenze turned away once again, and Ron gave a sigh of relief.

**XoXoXoX**

**Test2: Part C: Harry:**

Harry waited until he was sure there was only fifteen minutes left of Potions Class before he donned his Invisibility Cloak and snuck from the Room of Requirements. He made his way slowly down to the Dungeons, making sure no one saw him and that the whole class was gone by the time he got there.

He slipped into the room and looked around. Snape was sorting through some books on a shelf to the left of him and hadn't noticed anything amiss. Taking the chance, Harry raised his wand and, still under the cloak, whispered,

'Verto suus robes pink!'

A jet of hot pink light flew towards the Potions Master and hit him on his left arm. The man looked quickly to where Harry was and frowned. Harry knew he had probably seen the light coming at him from the corner of his eyes and that he couldn't see Harry, but he still shivered and gripped his wand tighter.

Snape slowly turned back to his books, not noticing the patch of hot pink on his arm that was ever so slowly growing larger. Harry left the room and made his way back to the Room of Requirements, grinning slyly.

'Test 2, success.'

**XoXoXoX**

**Test2: Part A, B and C: Results:**

Harry shifted slightly and glanced towards the Staff Table. Snape was nowhere to be seen. He looked to Hermione, who only rolled her eyes and muttered, 'patience, Harry!' before going back to her lunch. Fred, who was on one side of him, grinned at George, who was on the other side.

'Aww, Harry!' George started.

'We know you desperately-' Fred carried on.

'Want to see you dear lover, Snape-' George cut in.

'But he's a bit occupied-'

'With the colour of his robes-'

'Right now, so you'll just have to be-'

'Patient!' They finished at the same time, grinning broadly.

'Shut up, you two,' Harry scowled. 'Snape is not my lover.'

'Still in denial, eh?' Fred joked.

Before Harry could reply, the doors to the Great Hall opened and Snape strode inside, his hot pink robes billowing. However, considering the colour of said robes, it was not in the least bit intimidating. There was a pause as all the students and teachers took in the sight, and then a Hufflepuff girl giggled and broke the trance.

The whole Great Hall rang with the sound of laughter as Snape stalked up the Staff Table. He started to shout at Dumbledore, but no one, not even himself, could hear the words over the roaring laughter.

'Silence!' Dumbledore commanded, and everyone fell quiet. Snape glowered at everyone, before turning back to Dumbledore.

'Someone has charmed my robes pink!' he spat.

'Yes, Severus,' Dumbledore sighed. 'I gathered.'

'I cannot take these robes off without the right counter spell, Albus, and it just so happens that only the pranksters know it!'

'Well, I'm sure we can find the culprit…'

Snape paused, and then glared at the Gryffindor table. His eyes scanned the whole table, before flickering towards the twins.

'You!' he spat. 'The Weasley twins and Potter!'

'Excuse me?' Harry feigned innocence. 'I was at Divination for the whole hour.'

'Okay, okay,' Fred laughed. 'George and I did it, but you must admit it was funny.'

Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling as Snape shouted, '100 points from Gryffindor!'

'…Uhm, Mr. Snape? We're not students anymore.'

'Yeah! You can't give us detention either!'

'Just give me the damn counter spell!' Snape roared, stalking over to them.

Fred and George paused, and there was a flash of light before they finally took the spell off. Everyone looked to the flash of light and saw Colin Creevy pocketing his camera, and large grin on his young face.

**XoXoXoX**

**That's all for now. Please review!**


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